National Older Persons Reference Group member Alan Gravolin
Alan Gravolin was unfazed by his late wife, Lyn’s, decision to appoint him as her substitute decision-maker.
‘We’d always worked together to make decisions for our family and also for ourselves,’ he says.
Lyn was diagnosed with early onset dementia when she was in her mid 50s.
‘We didn’t plan for what was going to happen,’ Alan says. ‘I think we dealt with it day-to-day.
‘And there weren’t any surprises along the way. I didn’t change the normality of life. I cooked the meals she enjoyed eating and did the washing on the same day she always did it.
‘It was only as Lyn’s condition deteriorated that we had to start thinking about what we wanted to do and how we wanted to do it.’
A friend suggested they visit a solicitor to put a substitute decision-making order in place.
A substitute decision-maker is someone you appoint to help you make decisions about your financial, personal or health matters. States and territories use different names (such as power of attorney or guardian).
Green thumb
The role of substitute decision-maker is both a privilege and a responsibility. While appointees are legally empowered to make decisions on behalf of another person, they are also obliged to support the person’s needs, wishes and preferences. They should only step in if that person is unable to make their own decisions.
When Lyn needed round-the-clock care, Alan was able to secure a room for her in a dementia ward that opened onto an enclosed garden.
Daily visits enabled him to share stories about Lyn’s past and her interests, such as bushwalking and gardening, with aged care staff.
When they learnt about Lyn’s green thumb, they provided her with her own raised garden bed.
Alan and Lyn also made regular visits back to the family home, which was kept exactly the way she liked it to promote a sense of ease and familiarity.
‘I can still remember the last time she came home – all of us sitting around the backyard in our chairs. It was a good time,’ he recalls.
Helpful resources
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For more information about the rights and responsibilities of substitute decision-makers, explore our Self-advocacy toolkit.
